


By The Way

by TheChief, YourForever



Series: Every Breath Is A Chance To Know Yourself [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M, It just kind of happened, So yeah, This is kind of a sequel to Amnesia, and then I didn't want to post it, but here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 06:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5036656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChief/pseuds/TheChief, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourForever/pseuds/YourForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A note by the door simply explains it's all that remains. It's no wonder why I haven't slept in days. The dust on the floor piled up from the years. All those scars and souvenirs. Now that you're gone, it's easy to see, but so hard to believe.</p><p>By the way, you left without saying goodbye to me. Now that you're gone away, all I can think about is you and me.</p><p>It's not like before. You left nothing here. It's all disappeared. It hurts me to see that we've been a lie. Would it have hurt you to try?</p><p>It's sad to say that this pain is killing me inside, but it's time to say that this pain is keeping me alive. Twisting and turning, it rips through my heart. It's been tearing me apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By The Way

**Author's Note:**

> So this song is based on my other story, [ Amnesia ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2272719) as, kind of, Michael's point of view. I'm also thinking about making it a series and throwing another fic in as the after.
> 
> I dunno.
> 
> Anyway, here's Theory of a Deadman's By The Way

If there's any night that's been burned into the back of his mind, it was that one. The one when after their night together, he came back to her being gone. Her stuff cleared out of their shared apartment.

And he might've been able to live through that.

He might've, even though, she left his favorite sweatshirt - the one she always wore when he was gone - and there was a note on his side of the bed.

He thought back to how he'd been treating her, distracted with the tour, with the concerts and playing music and a sinking hole formed in the pit of his stomach because this was entirely on him.

He dropped the small velvet jewelry store box into the bottom drawer of the end table, leaving the note with it. He wasn't prepared for that.

He told himself that he could move on from this. Couldn't be that hard, right?

He went to Ashton's house and Ashton smacked him over the head - figuratively - and gave him a verbal lashing. Michael had better pick up his mess, and he knew that. He knew that Ash was just looking out for what was best for him.

Michael couldn't figure out why she hadn't told him sooner. Told him that she was considering this.

He went to her parent's house that night, but she was gone and they just shook their heads and shut the door. Even her sister didn't have any answers for him.

* * *

 

Three weeks. It took him three weeks to read the note.

Three weeks to find out exactly why she'd left. Michael was furious at first. How could she not believe that he wouldn't drop everything for the chance to raise her - their - kid? Yeah, sure it was a bit unexpected, but he would've been there.

Except then he started remembering. Remembering the times he'd looked at his phone, straight after a session in the studio and had sent her to voicemail, only to have her call one of the other boys. Or the time she'd set up a twitter and he hadn't paid any attention, hadn't noticed the hate coming down on her until Luke had pulled him aside to ask him how she was holding up.

He'd been terrible. No wonder she'd left him. But maybe - just maybe - he could fix it.

He gave her parent's a check for her. He kept giving them one, once a month. And for every dollar he gave to them, he put the same amount into a savings account. 

And that's what broke him. That's what kept him hanging on. He could've moved on, despite the engagement ring locked in the end table of their old bedroom - because he was still there. Because he wasn't leaving - despite the fact that she'd run off without saying goodbye. He could've written it all into a song and gone on and maybe possibly moved on with his life one day.

No, it was the fact that he couldn't even put his kids name on the savings account. That it was simply Michael Clifford - savings. It was just another account of his, one he didn't touch. One he put money into regularly, but still, just his.

He wondered if it was a boy or a girl.

* * *

 

"Yo, Mikey!" He could hear the cheer in the radio hosts voice and he responded in kind.

The interview was one of the usual. He and Cal were there to answer a variety of questions about their upcoming tour and then they played their latest release live and went on their merry way.

Except he preferred people call him Mikey now. It hurt a little less because every full "Michael," had him flinching internally because she'd always refused to call him by anything else. Why should she? She'd always insisted that his name was perfected and shouldn't be messed with because there could be plenty of Mikes, but he was the only Michael that mattered.

* * *

 

A year, three months, and eight days.

He didn't know when, but somewhere in that time, his child had been born.

It took that long for her parents to come clean. They weren't in contact with her. Didn't have an address for her. Only an email. She was sending them semi-frequent pictures of their grandchild. They wanted him to stop giving them the money for her. Money they were putting in her bank account. Money she wasn't spending.

He didn't care. Told them to use it themselves. Something. Because he needed her to know that he wasn't giving up.

He wasn't given her email. They wouldn't give him that, but he got  her sister to send him a picture.

Beautiful. She was smiling, though she looked tired - dead on her feet tired, working three jobs tired - and there was a little boy on her lap. A little boy with big green eyes. Michael's heart hurt.

* * *

 

His son was gorgeous. His son was his phone background. His screen saver. He was everything, everywhere Michael went, he took his beautiful baby boy.

Her sister had come clean, told their parents who had given in. Michael's money now was split, half into her bank account, half into keeping their old flat and, in return, he was given pictures or videos or whatever she sent because it was all he had to go off of.

Until she slipped up. One picture, the two of them were at a fountain and their son was laughing, splashing in the water and Michael could see how tired she looked and she was obviously hiding a bruise under makeup along her jaw.

But that wasn't the important part - at least not at the moment. He could take care of whoever had dared to do that later - the important part was that he recognized the fountain.

He recognized the area around it, anyway. He knew that building on the left and hey, maybe that one in the distance too and he knew she was in London, somewhere. That  particular location was a tourist trap though and he had no clue where she was in London, only that she was there. There was still quite a lot to figure out from there.

Except he didn't have the time or resources to do it. They were about to go into the studio for another album and Michael had a song he wanted to put in. One for his baby boy. And he had a chance to let Benji Madden hear it. To let him work on it, make it better and he couldn't miss that.

So he hired a private detective.

* * *

 

Two years, six months, and four days after she up and left, Michael was standing in the same city as her again. He could see his boy on a playground, laughing with another little boy on top of the slide. He could see her across the lot, sitting on a bench, looking overworked and older than her years.

He was about to get up the nerve to stand up and cross the playground to see them when another man appeared. He looked angry fist clenched. The two of them got heated, called out to her son - Michael's son - and left before the guitarist could do more than observe.

Didn't matter. He had a concert to get to across town. A friend of a friend wanted him to see this band. Maybe get them to open up for them back in Australia some time, introduce them to real rock concerts, because their usual American shows were nothing.

And hey, if Alex met up with him and they decided to go get drunk together, so be it.

* * *

 

She'd moved back up.

He couldn't believe it.

The private detective had delivered the news and Michael had wanted to go home and visit immediately because his son was in the right country again and maybe, just maybe, he could meet him.

But they were on tour and they were about to hit northern Europe and he couldn't leave right now. Luke would kill him.

* * *

 

He visited the house, but to no avail. She wasn't there.

He told them that he knew she was here, but they wouldn't give anything up and her sister was away at University.

Michael got a little too drunk that night and brought out the engagement ring he'd bought, his little boy's picture up on his phone. He fell asleep thinking he was ready to give up on getting her back.

* * *

 

Cal pointed out that he knew where she was. He could take legal action against her.

Except he couldn't because Michael was still in love with her and he wanted to live with her again, this time with their son. Their old flat had a spare room and it could be changed from a guest room to a kids room.

If only she'd actually admit that he still existed.

* * *

 

One night, Michael was tired of feeling sorry for himself and he called up Jack and Zack because 5SOS were in LA that night and why not? So, they all went out together. Cal got too drunk and had some blonde cornered against the bar and Luke was dancing with Ash like neither of them were straight and Michael had already had too much to drink and was half asleep, leaning against Rian's side.

He came to the decision that he'd give her a few more months. He'd try. He'd use her sister - or any other means he had available. He'd meet his son.

Except then Cal come bumbling over with his phone, looking a little lost as he passed it over to Michael.

"Yup?"

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments or in my [askbox on Tumblr](http://ffs-muke-eatme.tumblr.com/ask)!


End file.
